am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
