he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
