She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
