Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
