i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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