i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
