so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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