you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
