she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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