Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
