He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
