he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
