Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
