Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
