I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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