3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
