I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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