Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
