the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
