There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
