i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
