and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
