Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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