this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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