Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
