Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
