i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
