You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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