I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
