It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
