Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Houston, we have a blender
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
