Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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