It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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