Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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