You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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