I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
