Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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