why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive