So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops