A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear