wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.