Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
