It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
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Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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