i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
