About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
