I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
