can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize