I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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