and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize