I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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