1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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