I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
