i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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