She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
