the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
