To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
