is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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