I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
