foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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