Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
