just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
