wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Come on in and take your pants off
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