I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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