I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
