i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
