let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
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I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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