Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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