Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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