You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
