I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I need water and some morals
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
