I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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