hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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