In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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