I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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