Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize