You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
