She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize