I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
